My ensuing years in Alcoholics Anonymous have presented me with all sorts of trials and tribulations that would test my new found relationship with God. In the face of each challenge, faith has been a choice. It was a little like stepping off a cliff for me. Before I could take the next step, I had to decide whether or not to trust God. There were no guarantees and the outcome was always unclear. In the beginning it was generally pretty small stuff, yet I still had to trust that if I took that leap of faith, I would either find myself able to fly or God would catch me.
Over the years I have been presented with so many opportunities to choose faith over fear and to go ahead and take that leap. With each experience, my faith has grown. In leaps and bounds, it has grown. I still, on occasion, search (sometimes relentlessly!) for what reason there could be for whatever it is I might be going through. But I have come to understand that there is no serenity in such questions.